They say men choose a partner similar to their mother and women pick a man similar to their father. Let’s flip this around and from the mother-in-laws perspective imagine spending 20+ years devoted to your child, meeting their every need, creating so many wonderful memories, molding that person into the adult they have become just to see them choose a younger version of you and vow to spend the rest of their life with that person. Next thing you know they leave the safety of your home and make their own and their own family with your replacement. Granted there is obviously a different type of relationship and level of intimacy, but nevertheless your baby has chosen another to love unconditionally and gone. Yikes, no wonder the daughter-in-law, mother-in-law relationship is so tense. And my goodness, think of that poor young man stuck between the love of his life and his mother.
It’s extremely difficult to create a healthy distance from your family of origin, learn to create your own family dynamic, and maintain a strong relationship with the in-laws. Have patience with your mother-in-law next time she insists on having Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and every other major/minor holiday at her house. Remember it is okay to set some boundaries and allow your family to create traditions of their own, but keep in mind and appreciate the sacrifice your spouse’s parents make to allow you that healthy distance.
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