As a proud "bubble", given the name by a very grumpy English AP teacher in high school, allow me to share my Bubble Theory.
First of all, the term bubble is loosely defined in this article as one who is naively optimistic with a simplistic, hopeful spirit regarding life and people in general. The Bubble Theory states that if a person shares in this basic simplicity and optimism in various aspects of their life, they unknowlingly surround themselves with similar positive people and events, and in turn, reap the rewards adn succeed in relationships, self-esteem, career, etc. Another name for this way of thinking is positive psychology: if you think good thoughts, good things will happen (in the most basic of terms).
Let's take a moment and become acquainted with the bubble state of mind. Take a deep breath, smile (truly smile, ear to ear, and love it), and let's think about what's going on in your life. Focus on the basic joys and blessings in your life and be grateful for a moment (spouse/loved one, family, knowledge, health, home, support, memories). Maybe your list is a mile long or maybe you have only a few basic delights, regardless enjoy them. Now think about what's in your near future. Everyone should have something they're looking forward to, so what is that for you (trip, visit, change, family, rest...)?
We all have things we would like to change in our life and this ambition is healthy, but it's nice to just take a moment and appreciate what you have and who you are. Life is good, isn't it? Enjoy what you have. Enjoy what's to come. And smile!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
The Power of the D-Word
The D-Word. That dreaded word: DIVORCE. As of now consider it your new "four-letter word", not to be thrown around in the context of an argument.
"Maybe we should just get a divorce."
"I'm through! I want a divorce."
"Why don't you just divorce me then."
How does it feel for one partner to throw that threat out there in the midst of an argument just to be hurtful or even hateful? Too often one party will utter those dreadful words and open that door of possibility. Is it even an option in your marriage? Say the D-Word and it will be. Let’s get hypothetical for a moment. You’re in the middle of a knock-down, drag-out fight with your spouse, at your wits end and cannot even remember what insignificant detail started the argument in the first place. Next thing you know, he/she throws out: “Maybe we should just get a divorce!” Whoa, hold the phone… that’s a possibility now? Does he/she really feel that way? Is that where we’re heading inevitably? The perception of your relationship just changed for the worst and trust is now a major issue. The D-Word has reared its ugly head and opened that door. The fact that a typical marital argument (that we all have) turned into a downward spiral of ‘what-ifs’ could have been avoided. Take a break, timeout, cool-off period. Whatever you and your partner wish to call it- remove yourself from the heated situation before one of you says something that cannot be forgotten or forgiven for that matter. Take some deep breaths, bring it down a notch, and yes, dare I say, come to a compromise. The making-up process can be so much fun and bring a couple closer than ever, so remember fighting is okay. Learn how to express your differences and anger, come to a compromise, and enjoy reaping the benefits of your success as your relationship grows stronger. And avoid the D-Word!
"Maybe we should just get a divorce."
"I'm through! I want a divorce."
"Why don't you just divorce me then."
How does it feel for one partner to throw that threat out there in the midst of an argument just to be hurtful or even hateful? Too often one party will utter those dreadful words and open that door of possibility. Is it even an option in your marriage? Say the D-Word and it will be. Let’s get hypothetical for a moment. You’re in the middle of a knock-down, drag-out fight with your spouse, at your wits end and cannot even remember what insignificant detail started the argument in the first place. Next thing you know, he/she throws out: “Maybe we should just get a divorce!” Whoa, hold the phone… that’s a possibility now? Does he/she really feel that way? Is that where we’re heading inevitably? The perception of your relationship just changed for the worst and trust is now a major issue. The D-Word has reared its ugly head and opened that door. The fact that a typical marital argument (that we all have) turned into a downward spiral of ‘what-ifs’ could have been avoided. Take a break, timeout, cool-off period. Whatever you and your partner wish to call it- remove yourself from the heated situation before one of you says something that cannot be forgotten or forgiven for that matter. Take some deep breaths, bring it down a notch, and yes, dare I say, come to a compromise. The making-up process can be so much fun and bring a couple closer than ever, so remember fighting is okay. Learn how to express your differences and anger, come to a compromise, and enjoy reaping the benefits of your success as your relationship grows stronger. And avoid the D-Word!
Allow Me to Introduce Myself
As a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice, I work with adult individuals, couples, and families and have learned about and observed various dynamics and found that certain issues are, for the most part, universal to all couples or individuals at some point in their life. As a reader of this blog, you gain a bit of professional advice through my experience in working with this population and hopefully learn how to deal with these issues that many, many, many others have faced and tackled. You can look forward to reading about topics regarding Marriage (How to Fight), Parenting (Grocery Store Nightmare), Infidelity (No They Didn’t), Self-Esteem (Yes, I’m That Awesome), Co-parenting (The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far), and much more with your comments, critiques, and suggestions.
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