Are You the Bully?

Now that school is back and rolling along the topic of bullying is a popular discussion, but let's think of this scenario in a relationship perspective. Are you are bully in your marriage? When you think of a bully, the mental picture painted is usually the big kid on the play ground verbally picking on an innocent victim and stealing his lunch money, leaving that poor little guy or girl feeling defenseless and angry.

In an ideal world a relationship would resemble a cooperative team, where you both work at an equal level to achieve the same goal: success. At times even in a relationship a power struggle can develop causing one partner to pick on the other to demonstrate power and boost their self-confidence. Have you ever had an argument with your partner and absolutely refused to budge on the verdict, as well as refused to even listen to their complaint and even became angry, irritated, and frustrated when they dared to bring up the topic? Yep, that was bullying. To prove your power and seniority you picked on your partner like the play ground bully, took away their possibility of a compromise (lunch money), and left them feeling helpless and of course angry.

Here's your ah-ha moment. Even the bully can learn a lesson from his mistake and become a team player. When an inner struggle of self-worth, self-esteem, or self-confidence arises be aware of who's on your side, team up and enjoy the play times in life.

School Days Are Here Again

Back to school means big changes for some. Whether it be having to get used to and comfortable with a brand new teacher, facing the first day of school as the "little fish in a big pond", or even having to make the adjustment from parent of a teen to parent of a college student. Autumn brings about change and transformation for so many families, and with these differences come stress and fear.

Kids deal with this fear and anxiety in several ways. Don't be surprised if your little one visits the time-out stool a few extra times before school starts or even comes up with one of those ill-timed stomach or headaches the first day of school. Adjusting can be difficult for these little ones, and while they may not recognize what they're feeling and why you can be aware, understanding, and help ease their fears of the unknown.

Walking into high school for the first time and trying to figure out where to go, who's the cool kid, and what teachers to avoid can be overwhleming. I'm sure you remember those days when you wish you could have stayed under the safety of your covers and never face the bullies. These are prime times for acne break outs and even more hair-pulling mood swings which require much patience and empathy on the part of the parent.

And of course, for some Fall brings the realization that your baby is all grown up, and it doesn't hit you until you're standing in their dorm room surrounded by giddy co-eds and explaining for the hundreth time how to operate the machines at the laundry mat. Don't be surprised if you find yourself walking around the house, fighting back tears, and looking for dirty dishes to clean and music to turn down. These times may be the most difficult, but also the most life changing. Now's the time to find yourself not as mom/dad, but as a person.

School days are here again! Are you ready?