It's Time to Push!

Goal-setting is a wonderful way to motivate yourself and see progress in all areas of your life. When thinking about these aspirations, it’s always important to create detailed, objective, obtainable goals just out of your reach and push yourself for success. You’ve heard the saying: “If it was easy everyone would do it.” Now’s your time to shine.

It’s helpful to have a “push partner” as well. Teamwork can generate accountability, positive reinforcement for your efforts, and of course venting sessions when you’ve hit a rough patch. Finding someone who has a similar vision or target can keep you on track and form a little constructive competition. If your goal is to lose weight, find an exercise buddy. If your goal is parent related, join a parenting group.

Sadly, I’m losing my own push partner in the near future and now realizing how effective it has been to have someone with the same vision dreaming with me, laboring with me, motivating me, overall pushing me, and reaching those goals with me. I highly recommend one!

Mother-Daughter Dynamic

What is it about the infamous mother/daughter duo that creates such friction? Is it because we are too similar? Too different? Some sort of unconscious, Freudian rivalry? I wish I had an answer... I'm sure there would be a bestseller in the works to cure all mother/daughter tangles. So how do we take a relationship that has so many underlying snarls, nourish it, and create an amazing mother & daughter crime-fighting, cookie-baking, man-taming team?

I think the initial key is perspective. Obviously, coming from seperate generations and different milestones in life it may be strenuous to see the other's perspective and understand their point of view no matter the situation (or argument). This ability is difficult to master in any working relationship, but throw in a double deck of female hormones and it gets down right impossible.

While I don't have an extensive answer to this age old question or simple step by step solution, I will leave all you moms and daughters with this: Patience is truly a virtue and respect is most definitely earned. Have patience with your mom/kiddo no matter how old or young they are and respect their opinion and position... even when you adamantly disagree.

In-Laws...... Aaagghhh!

In-laws… aaaagggghhhhh!!!!  Okay, so I’m exaggerating my frustration, but the topic of in-laws has been known to spark some pretty intense emotions.  I must preface this by saying I have the most precious in-laws imaginable, but even marrying into an ideal family there are always difficulties. 

They say men choose a partner similar to their mother and women pick a man similar to their father.  Let’s flip this around and from the mother-in-laws perspective imagine spending 20+ years devoted to your child, meeting their every need, creating so many wonderful memories, molding that person into the adult they have become just to see them choose a younger version of you and vow to spend the rest of their life with that person.  Next thing you know they leave the safety of your home and make their own and their own family with your replacement.  Granted there is obviously a different type of relationship and level of intimacy, but nevertheless your baby has chosen another to love unconditionally and gone.  Yikes, no wonder the daughter-in-law, mother-in-law relationship is so tense.  And my goodness, think of that poor young man stuck between the love of his life and his mother.

 It’s extremely difficult to create a healthy distance from your family of origin, learn to create your own family dynamic, and maintain a strong relationship with the in-laws.  Have patience with your mother-in-law next time she insists on having Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and every other major/minor holiday at her house.  Remember it is okay to set some boundaries and allow your family to create traditions of their own, but keep in mind and appreciate the sacrifice your spouse’s parents make to allow you that healthy distance.